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26 September 2008 @ 08:46 pm
Update 6  
I think I'm on 6.

The oncologist came to talk to me today. She is a "don't interrupt the doctor" type, not endearing me to her, and the news is grim. The tumor is actually tennis ball size. She suggested radiation and chemo, must think on that. It will make him so unhappy.

I discussed his coming home to Minnesota with me, he's pretty miffed with me at the moment even though he initiated the conversation. He knows, though that he needs rehab, and probably a nursing home. I told him when he was well enough to live on his own again, I would bring him back to Chicago.

He seems unaware of what's going on with his body, confused about not being allowed out of bed for bodily functions. I let his attending nurse feed him dinner, instead of me. Breakfast and lunch took over an hour, because he can only take very small bits at a time and has to chew and swallow them completely before he can have another, aspiration is a real danger. He didn't do as well with dinner. He wanted a hamburger tomorrow, I think that's not going to happen.

My mother is 89 today, and I nearly forgot to call her and wish her well, promising to make it up to her.

Splitting myself in a lot of directions, but really don't have anything else I can do.

ETA: I bought him a shuffle today, and loaded it with classical music. Seems to make him happy.
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Cellicelli on September 27th, 2008 02:13 am (UTC)
cats_are_snakes: rub onna wallscats_are_snakes on September 27th, 2008 02:16 am (UTC)
Not good news at all. Sigh.
OneCrowdedHour: spring1crowdedhour on September 27th, 2008 02:46 am (UTC)
You are wonderful. Take what comfort you can in that. And in the Cubs, of course.
beadslutbeadslut on September 27th, 2008 04:18 pm (UTC)
The Cubs played badly the last two games that I was able to see, lost them both, unfortunately. I suppose if you're going to have a period of inattentiveness, this is the best time for it.

I was so excited to find a plain, long sleeved cubs blue t-shirt. Wearing it proudly.
Carbonelcarbonel on September 27th, 2008 02:50 am (UTC)

If you don't have it already, one of those doohickeys with speakers that let you plug the MP3 player into it so you don't have to wear earphones was a godsend when I was recovering from eye surgery. It might be a win for your father, too.
beadslutbeadslut on September 27th, 2008 04:34 pm (UTC)
I'm afraid he can't have that in ICU, but it's a great idea for later, thanks.
Jonquil Serpyllumjonquil on September 27th, 2008 04:06 am (UTC)
I'm very, very sorry. I wish you strength. The shuffle was a great idea.

Edited at 2008-09-27 04:06 am (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
Lionesselisem on September 27th, 2008 05:29 am (UTC)
I agree that the shuffle is brilliant idea.

And more hugs from here, and much good wishing. And soothingness, too.
Marina: Cherrieblossoms 2satharn on September 27th, 2008 07:56 am (UTC)
Carol Kennedycakmpls on September 27th, 2008 01:37 pm (UTC)
I don't really know you, but I'm pretty sure you're a "you do what you have to do" person, so you'll get through this OK. Try to take a bit of care of yourself--in the long run, it's better for everyone.
beadslutbeadslut on September 27th, 2008 04:33 pm (UTC)
Himself keeps telling me I'm brave, and strong. All I know is that there isn't anyone else to do this, so I keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I wish the multiple doctors and therapists would read the chart updates, though. Also, I wish to headslap the doctor that asked "Did Dr. K talk to you about radiation?" right in front of him.
Vanilla  ... Spiked with Slivovitz: crayons by khushi_iconsjenna_thorn on September 27th, 2008 08:17 pm (UTC)
Make it a duet.
You are brave enough and strong enough to get through this, and when it feels as though yu aren't, that's when Himself or the Boy or I or P or someone steps up and you can lean on us.

All my love, as always.
beadslut: facepalmbeadslut on September 27th, 2008 09:33 pm (UTC)
Re: Make it a duet.
*giggle* He just asked for a beer.
Vanilla  ... Spiked with Slivovitzjenna_thorn on September 28th, 2008 02:40 am (UTC)
Re: Make it a duet.
Dude, I don't care what the docs might say, that's a good sign.
lilmunalilmuna on September 27th, 2008 08:22 pm (UTC)
Hugs and love
Hey girlie. I am praying for you, so sorry about the grim news. Situations like this are never easy. You do have folks that love you and are here for you. Let me know if I can do anything. You can always give me a call if you need to vent.
Love you
beadslutbeadslut on September 27th, 2008 09:35 pm (UTC)
Re: Hugs and love
Thanks, honey. Shala talked me into an iPod and James Marsters is reading me a Dresden file book. I have my laptop and my knitting. The Cubs game is on, and I'm going to let D (WINOLJ) take me out later. I'm also going to make her drive, because I donwanna.