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24 September 2008 @ 08:12 pm
Update 4  
Still mostly out of it from anaesthesia, he's never done well with it. He's lucid, though, asked me about the cut on his head and if they found anything. His blood pressure is rally high, despite meds, so I bailed and told him we had to wait to hear from the doctor.

Seriously high 181/65. Arterial pressure gets up to 200/69.

More questions, who did the biopsy, how long did it take, how many stitches, what did they measure. He's in there, my dad is, along with an evil malignant tumor that is going to take him in a month or two. I am angry at his retinologists for not thinking his rapid and severe vision loss was a symptom, for telling him to take vitamins and avoid cholesterol, rather than seek out his primary phsician for a consultation. I am angry at myself for not thinking something else could be the matter. Would it have given us more time? Probably not.

Tomorrow, I'll tell him and we'll make a plan. Hospital tissues are made of sandpaper.
Cellicelli on September 25th, 2008 01:43 am (UTC)
beadslutbeadslut on September 25th, 2008 04:51 am (UTC)
Thanks. It's being the grown up that sucks so.

And too tired to remember to log in.
cairmaidcairmaid on September 25th, 2008 01:53 am (UTC)
The most treasured things I have from my Dad are the email messages he sent me with stories about when he was a boy (yes, the same stories he used to tell me over & over). Get your Dad to tell you his stories in any lucid moments he may have.

Praying for all of you.
beadslutbeadslut on September 25th, 2008 04:53 am (UTC)
Re: Stories
Thanks, we have a really good relationship, and his stories are pretty amazing. Good advice.
Vanilla  ... Spiked with Slivovitz: treehuggerjenna_thorn on September 25th, 2008 02:23 am (UTC)
No, it wouldn't have given you more time and beating yourself up about it will only make you heartsick.

And hospital tissues really do seem to be made of wood with the bark still attached.

All my love and thoughts and prayers.
the sleepy wolfsingingwolf on September 25th, 2008 02:37 am (UTC)
Don't beat yourself up over "what ifs". Treasure the "what's NOW". Talk to him. Make sure he knows what you are feeling. Make sure that any secrets that may cause you regrets in the future are fessed up and forgiveness is asked for (and given if needed.)

Learned it the hard way. Lucky for me, I was blessed with a second chance.

Now Mom, C, and I all treat each day as if it were going to be our last when it comes to opening up to each other....

*hugs tight*
beadslut: LJbeadslut on September 25th, 2008 05:00 am (UTC)
We have no secrets (channels Carly Simon), and a pretty good relationship. There won't be any second chances to get this right, and he's still in ICU for a reason. There were some really frightening moments tonight.

Thanks, it's so good to have you out there.
beadslut: LJbeadslut on September 25th, 2008 04:58 am (UTC)
You're right, no more time, but maybe we could have avoided this crisis and gone more gently. Hindsight is 20/20, of course.

What _do_ they make those things out of, anyway?

Yours with comma disease, and grateful to have you.